25 January 2007

Pawsted by Lova Rakotomalala

Dogs' letters to God.


A while ago, I-Mei got this little illustrated book called "Pets' letter to God" by Marck Bricklin. You probably have already heard some of them but for those who haven't, here are a few of them with Ginga and Booboo-related comments:

"Dear God,
How come people love to smell flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Where are their priorities?"
(Booboo always makes a point to smell his humans after they are done with house cleaning. Ginga only smells them to check their pockets for treats. Humans do smell each other but only against their will and in the confined spaces of an airplane.... not pleasant after all)

"Dear God,
When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?"
(Ginga and Booboo are considered semi-gods in Lafayette so they decide who gets on the couch.)

Dear God,
Excuse me, but why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar,the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not one named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! I know every breed cannot have its own model, but it would be easy to rename the Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler Beagle!
( I believe there is a red Celica called the Gingamobile but I could be wrong)

Dear God,
If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
( Sartre says no, Nietzsche says define bad, and Lassie says woof. Lassie would be correct. )

Dear God,
When my foster mom's friend comes over to our house, he smells like musk! What's he been rolling around in?
( That would be "Le male" by J-P Gauthier.....almost as horrendous as Airplane scents )

Dear God,
If we come back as humans, is that good or bad?
( I-Mei's take:"I would never wish such plight on any dogs" )

Dear God,
We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields, and frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
(I-mei again: "not much ...at least they guys I know")

Dear God,
Are there dogs on other planets, or are we alone? I have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the beagle across the street!
( Indeed we know for a fact that Snoop Dog is from Pluto.... or that planet that used to be)

Dear God,
Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
(Nope, God has e-mail now. )

Dear God,
Is it true that dogs are not allowed in restaurants because we can't make up our minds what NOT to order? Or is it the carpet again?
( It all started when Ginga and Booboo tried to order from the DQ drive thru ....)

Dear God,
Is thunder absolutely necessary?
( Booboo: yeah, what's up with that ?)

Dear God,
How do I get rid of dog breath?"
( and morning breath for humans as well please )

Dear God,
Please Pass this message along to my so-called master:
Why are you trying to teach me to roll over and play dead? Do you find that funny? Funny how?"
( Ginga: yeah, what's up with that ?)

7 comments:

Mosilager said...

That's hilarious!

e said...

hehe this is a funny post!! I like the couch one. "Or is it the same old story?"

Karen Shanley said...

Hey, Ranjit, I think you have the makings of your own book! "Dog talks back to God." LOL! This was great.

Mosilager said...

Thanks Karen, it was Lova's post... now if he could find a publisher... preferably one who lets the author have choice of cover.

Rohini said...

Very nice.

video said...

They have a bus called the "greyhound". Does that count??

lova said...

Hello e and Rohini,

Thank you for the kind words.

Video,
It sure does. It is also areflection on the generous character of dogs (public transport) vs the solitary and metrosexual character of felines :D.