18 December 2006

Pawsted by Mosilager

Marriage Profile

There's been a rash of weddings and engagements involving people I know. Since I'm older than most of them I feel that the time may be coming soon for me as well. Unfortunately due to my being an ineligible bachelor (student, no job, poor dress sense, immaturity, lack of sporting ability, read more blog posts for confirmation), my chances are fairly poor.

And then it hit... girls love to hang out with Ginga. Something about him attracts women of all types and ages. So, I decided to put up a singles profile of Ginga here instead of shaadi.com or eharmony. I figure that the Ginga fans will eventually show up.

Name: Ginga
Age: 28
I am an outdoor kind of guy. I love hiking, running, wrestling, mountain climbing and picnics. I am kind hearted and have an special fondness for little furry creatures such as rabbits and squirrels. I am very progressive. I love helping out in the kitchen while cooking. Unfortunately I cannot be the main chef because there may not be any food left for anyone else. I don't mind if the food is cooked, uncooked, 10 days old or laying outside for 2 weeks, as long as it is not dog food. I love my family, especially my brother BooBoo. He is older than me and taught me how to recycle (why my daddy throws good food away in the big bin and forbids me to eat it?) That reminds me, I love nature so much that whenever I am outside I fertilise trees and shrubs many times. This makes me happy. I also protect leaves from being eaten by my friends the rabbits. During this process the rabbits get their monthly excercise so they remain healthy. They look so happy after they get on the other side of the fence, I think they are thanking me for the excercise. Greenpeace should invite me to be a member of their society due to my contributions to the plant and small animal life of Lafayette.

Man+Dog

My basics
Age : 28
Marital status : Never married
Children : None that I know of
Height : 3 foot (but I have all 4 feet)
Complexion : Black and tan
Body type : My aunty and uncle say I'm a fatass but my daddy says I'm All Muscle
Occupation : Bodyguard / teddy bear / take the blame for BooBoo's mistakes
Annual income : None, but I'm cheap, I eat anything, just let me at the trash and standing bodies of water outside
My astro sign : Taurus (the bull)

My religious and social background
Religion : Kelvinatorism
Sub caste / sect : Clan of cheesestick and Clan of pig ear.
Mother tongue : My tongue is longer than my mother's
Family values : Monogamy, polygamy, androgamy all OK. As long as I get food.
Country of birth : USA
Grew up in : USA
Nationality : USA, Germany, Japan, India, Zambia, Madagascar, Taiwan (eligible for citizen of the world)

Hobbies, interests and more
My hobbies : Dancing, eating, running, being massaged
Preferred dress style : Collar only, with microchip inside

My family
I live with my daddy Ranjit and brother BooBoo and my uncle Lova and aunty I-mei. I have a vacation home at my aunty the Doc's house. I also have a half-sister who I don't get along with very well (the cat Cleo). She lives with my uncles GSL and GG (gentle giant).

The only negative thing
My daddy comes with me as part of the package. This is non-negotiable. He takes up little space, is grateful for small luxuries, can sleep on the couch. He will vaccuum the house and take me outside for walks and runs. He does like to have internet so he can blog about me. He listens well and doesn't talk a lot. You don't have to see him much because he loves to work in lab till late.

My daddy is somewhat uncivilised, could do with gentle handling to lead him away from video games, wearing bleach stained non-matching clothes to work, and refusing to get a haircut or shave regularly. He also has to be weaned away from thinking that the only jewelry worth buying should have capabilities of playing mp3s, taking photographs or some other technological mumbo-jumbo.

My preferred partner
Age : Age ain't nothing but a number, must be legal
Marital status : Single
Children : As long as they give me treats, massage me, and let me run around with them
Smell : must be good smelling (hands and rear)
Interests : Must love walking outdoors (if my daddy says he'll take care of this so not a strict requirement)

Update: Fei in Singapore also put up a matrimonial ad in response to this involving Bollywood featuring Ginga, BooBoo and Fei. Hilarious!

17 comments:

Karen Shanley said...

LOL! Ranjit, this is so cute and funny! I'm sure it will attract some eligable mates -- for Ginga anyway.

Just kidding!

Wish I knew someone for you. You deserve someone wonderful!

lova said...

I think the negative can turn out to be a great asset when it comes to squeezing out the anal glans. :D No negative at all,I say. Now let's hear it for the non-negotiable part's preferred partner :D
you are on a roll, keep'em coming :)

Mosilager said...

Karen and Lova Thanks for the kind words. Now if some unattached woman thought the same... although mention of 'anal gland squeezing' cannot have endeared the Ginga to any reasonable woman. For the record, we only had to do it once so far!

Anali said...

That is a hilarious post! Ewwwwwwwww! Anal gland squeezing???? When you find a woman who doesn't mind the sound of that, I think she'll be a keeper.

I'm sure you'll find someone soon. You're such a cutie and funny too!

Amrita said...

I am going to try and forget the second comment on this post :-P Too traumatic!

G, you have a very attractive profile. WOOF!

(Awesome post Mos)

e said...

ah!!! Our comments had been erased!
Nevermind. I'll start again.
Hey I used to love reading the matrimonial times while eating breakfast when I lived in Kolkatta.

If only Fei was older... She's only 7 years old in human years.
If in a couple of years, Ginga isn't bethrothed, you'll be receiving photos from us!

Just to let you know, our Fei is a well traveled citizen of the world. She understands English, Singlish, Australian and Japanese. She has been through a year of finishing school and has worked with a personal deportment instructor on some very intensive and rigorous etiquette training.
Fei owes her exotic appearance to her mixed heritage and has recently started modelling. She was scouted by a 'tarento'(talent) company in Japan but would like to further her studies in agility and lure coursing before entering the entertainment industry. Her first modelling assignment saw her appearing in the 2007 International edition of the Dogs with Blogs Calendar as the pin up girl for April.
When not spending time with her family or volunteering at the kitchen cleanup bonanzas, Fei enjoys working as a spokesperson for the Black Dogs are Special cause and continues to encourage others to adopt pets from shelters and rescues.

Best,
Fei and Eve

lova said...

I have to apologize for comment #2. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in the dogs' daily lives that we don't realize that some "events" are not really "common" things to mention. :)
To Ginga's credit, he has gotten more independent in that "aspect" and if I were a female pooch, I would definitely throw myself into his paws :)
It seems to me that Fei would be a great fit for the Gingster :).

Mosilager said...

anali blush... you do wonders for the confidence ;)
amrita thanks! it's rare to have a well-liked post so I'm enjoying it while I can.
e it's probably my blog taking revenge on you for my comments not working on your blog :) but yes Ginga and Fei seem perfect for each other.

e said...

We wrote about your funny post and put up some very fitting pics of Ginga. Hope it's okay by the way. Let us know.
Best
Fei & E

Mosilager said...

Glad you liked it! Great job with the Fei matrimonial, and thanks for linking.

Rohini said...

I understand that this will send Ginga's popularity through the roof but how exactly is this supposed to help you find a mate?

Karen Shanley said...

OK, now it’s Rajit's, Ginga's, and Booboo, turn to play some “Christmas Tag”.

You’ve been tagged - come play a while with other dog bloggers.

Check out the rules on my website. Don’t wait - tagging is happening fast around here and you could be left “it”!

Merry Christmas and happy “chocolate kisses”,

Karen, Kiera, Graidy, & Finn

Mosilager said...

rohini I know, I know, it's a lost cause... but most girls want Ginga, and Ginga only comes with a support staff, namely, me. Had to give it the old college try you see. OK I think I'll have to come up with something else.

karen, keira, graidy and Finn Ginga and BooBoo and maybe Cleo the cat will have a go at it... thanks.

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

lol!! this is hilarious. so is the bollywood sequel. can't wait to see what happens in ginga's love life now. seeing as it is that we can't expect much from yours. ;)

Mosilager said...

TGFI sure, sure, rub it in. I think Ginga though has the same fate with dogs that I have with girls, Fei decided to be his sister rather than his girlfriend... there's an old shair that goes:

"voh thumak thumak kar aayi,
main samjha bahaar aayi,
main sindoor leke khada,
voh besharam rakhi le kar aayi"

"she came swaying her hips,
I thought spring had come,
I stood there with sindoor,
but that shameless girl came with a rakhi"

sindoor - red powder that would-be husband puts in the central hair parting of the would-be wife.
rakhi - thread that a brother ties on the hand of a sister.


Ginga is truly my doggie! This is proof.

e said...

awwww but that song is so funny !! "but that shameless girl came with a rakhi! " hahaha!

Sorry to be disappointing you folks. Our Fei is a bit too young for the Gingster! I tried to bring the subject up during dinner one night and she gave me the cold shoulder. After talking about it to her father, we concurred that our Fei is still a tad young to be considering marriage prospects. Made a promise to be browsing matrimonial ads in a few years and that instantly brought a smile to our goofy Fei's face.
That said, we'll have a rakhi too for Ginga and sweets but we will have to wait until next year to do so!

The Visitor said...

GingaBoo - you need to have a pet lover for a Mom or else...

Anyway here's wishing both of you and that Mr Eligible, A Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year.

Hope he'll submit his thesis in the New year.